For one thing, the other guys have much bigger ships. They’ve got air power, too. A parrot and gold earrings just don’t go as far as they used to for intimidating the king’s men. Sympathize with the difficulties of modern high seas hijackers when you wear A Pirate’s Plight t-shirt. This distinctive design combines the iconic skull with crossed swords, symbols of a simpler time when a good weapon could be forged by a talented blacksmith, and didn’t require doctoral degrees in electrical engineering, computer science and jet propulsion.

Why not trade in that ridiculous wheeled monstrosity (and the mindset that comes with it), and indulge your vanity with a progressively militant anti-corporate t-shirt like our new Blood For Oil design. While we don’t recommend wearing it at most job interviews or Texas tea parties, you’ll add to the patchouli-scented atmosphere at your local Greenpeace office. Also great at protest marches and for proving your street cred to that cute hippy.

As the illustrious 20th century philosopher Popeye so concisely put it: “If you can’t beats ‘em, joins ‘em!” In the spirit of that wise call to action, we present the official China Is Coming t-shirt. Show your obedience to the fickle whims of the Politburo with this smart t-shirt that warns your friends and family to prepare themselves for the impending domination. You know where this t-shirt was made, don’t you? (Actually, all of our shirts are made in Los Angeles, but you get the idea.)

Sounds like everyone would be a lot happier with a new t-shirt.